Fourth Review and four stars

"I thought this was quite a jolly little children’s story. The pitch and language seemed just about right for your target audience, though I did find the first page a little confusing. Perhaps you just need to establish the setting a little bit more because it was not overly clear to me where they were.

There are some good lines. I particularly liked:

Granddad had taught him very well in the art of launching…hadn’t done very much yet in the art of landing but he would worry about that later.

Though, I didn’t like the line where he (Robert) tells her to belt up. I think your average 7 year old might find that a bit obvious (and unfunny). I could be wrong.

I liked the way you closed this out. That Granddad, he’s a card, isn’t he?

Good luck with this.

Mike"

As this was my fourth review I got to see a general rating of my MS. It was 4 stars out of 5. Is that good? I don't know. To stand a chance of consideration for the Youwriteon.com top ten and win a review from a publisher I need 4 more reviews and they are certainly not coming thick and fast so it may take several weeks before I learn whether I'll be in with a chance.

It is budget day today. I wonder if the IMF has an Arts Department?

My third review - 3 o'clock and all's well

"I really enjoyed reading this, Mark, even though I am the "wrong" side of 70! I have grandchildren in the age-group you are writing for and I think they would love it, especially the boys.

Yes, you hit exactly the right note for your target readership and this is not as easy as one may think. I have read an awful lot of YWO chapters (and I do mean awful!) ostensibly meant for children, which are hopelessly wide of the mark. I think you have just the right combination of excitement and humour here.

Just two teeny-weeny nitpicks: I'd be inclined not to use kakapoop and galoop in the same sentence - could you change one of them just a bit? And do you really need to repeat "like a cat on fire" when they shoot out into space? But, these are really tiny points in an excellent story"

So far my story has been reviewed by 3 people and it seems to be surviving the experience. Not one person has said - 'you are a gimp, Lloyd, a gimp of the highest order.' or 'Your words grate on my consciousness like nail on a blackboard' or, worse still 'well, it was OK, I suppose.'

I need 8 reviews to get a chance at cracking the top 10 and if I manage that I will get a review from a publisher or the janitor at a publishing house - depending on how much moolah the site owners are actually coughing up.

*****

Voice is an interesting topic. I want to go to a workshop that focuses entirely on voice. I worry that my voice isn't authentic. I tend to try to write something in a particular style and it is only occasionally that I manage to write in a way that is readily identifiable as my own voice. When I'm writing I have to avoid reading as the style and ideas of what I am reading will leach into my script.

Hmm...any voice coaches out there?

By the way, if you are reading this it would be rude not to say hello.

My second review - an ethical question...

Enfin! My second review from www.youwriteon.com has been posted!

"think I must be starting in my second childhood because I enjoyed reading this. These children seem alive, and show concern for their granddad. The story flows very well; this gives the urgency of their mission.
The whole story is well thought out and told in a simple way, so even an old earthbound codger like me could understand it. That is always important, but especially today when so many young people prefer gadgetry to reading. In my opinion you have got it right.
There is one small point that I would like to make about this writing, and it is because it is aimed at children as young as seven. Nowadays we can't pick up very many modern novels without filthy language being in the text. There is none in this I am glad to say, but I will draw your attention to page 13, line 23. Granddad has been asked about the yellow button and he answers, "It runs like hell."
My question is, 'Is the word hell suitable for young children who should be being taught not to use this word and others like it in this kind of context?' I don't think it is, but you are the one to decide.
I wish you well with the story."

My first review on Youwriteon.com

"The story grabs straightaway your attention. The protagonists seem lovable. Angela and robert despite being brother and sister are working well as a team. The only thing I thought weird is that while they are playing in a room where they are no adults they are watching the news. Would any kids do that? I'm not sure but then it's the start of your story. The story is well written and flows well. It is highly readable and I'm sure the target audience will enjoy this story. The dialogues are plausible (as realistic as possible within the context of the story"

Interestingly enough, the lady who gave this review was also new to the site. Her own book, entitled "The Bitch of The Week" was put up for review and I did a free-will review just to thank her for taking the time to review mine. I was polite and constructive.

It would appear that someone else also reviewed it and in 1000 words utterly destroyed her confidence. She posted a message on the message board stating that she was shocked and then she withdrew her work from the site and scarpered.

It would be easy for me to say that she needs to grow a few more layers of skin but I wonder how I will react when the first reviewer decides to savage me?


****

On the publisher and agent front, it has been a long time since I have received a rejection. Not since the 14th of October in fact. I'll have to send out more submissions.

****

Writers' Group

Met up with Bob today and we discussed the idea of a writers' group which meets once a month but which has a strong emphasis on providing a resource for useful critique. Perhaps the group's members could submit work to the group by email and the resulting critique reports could be returned by email or in a one to one meeting.
Of course that could mean that the group would get together once a month to get drunk and then in the intervening period insult each other by email - regardless, I would welcome it.

We talked about what it takes to raise a writer's game. A good peer group was one aspect but another was practical advice from the industry. Bob was at a workshop in the Irish Writers Centre called Pathways to Publication, where practical advice was doled out by published writers, their agents and their publishers. Sounds like a concept that the Limerick Writers' Centre should borrow.

What do you think?

Getting Help

There was a time when I was afraid when the postman came. I was getting very threatening letters from a collection agency which used very scary red ink to let me know that they were going to wring the money out of me in a very expensive legal battle and that with each passing minute I was getting deeper into trouble and deeper into a notional bold red-ink debt amount.

I had signed up for a correspondence writing course and failed to keep up with my payments.

I moved house and the letters, which were not delivered by owls, did not pursue me. Somewhere in Chipping Sodbury there is a ex-SAS operative who is scanning The Times bestseller list just waiting for my name to appear so that he can complete this one last job before he retires.

Thus far I have foiled his every move by not getting published in the slightest.

I read some of the materials that the correspondence course had supplied in their initiation pack but the emphasis on salesmanship before content or contentment was not very inspiring. In short it was advising me to write articles for Angling magazines and Knitting Quarterlies because they were an easy sell.

Getting help is not easy because it involves two people at least and I trust myself but I'm not sure about the other guy. I mean to say that there are a lot of questions about this other guy...like what is in it for him? What does he know anyway? Why does he wear black polo-necks?

Maybe there is safety in amateur numbers...

So I joined a writers' group but that turned out to be a mutual-appreciation society which left me with the uneasy feeling that everybody turned up just to say nice things to each other and then drink some tea. So I jacked that in.

My next experiment in getting help was to get members of my family and friends to read my stories and they all loved them and they loved me and we had a pint and we realised that we were all really good at what we do. So I don't do that anymore.

What I have done of late is to attend workshops facilitated by credible authors and poets and to soak up their perspectives on writing and their considered views on my writing. That has been both inspiring and challenging. I went to a course facilitated by Oisin McGann in Tigh Aine in Bellyferiter (bursary thanks to Sheila Deegan and the Arts Office). He was particularly engaging and talked about the business of writing or the business that is writing in a way that I had never heard expressed before. You should come and sit with him in Feb 2010 at the LWC.

Another tack that has helped me to work on my writing style was using Connerstone's commercial editing service (Google it!). This costs a few quid but is very comprehensive and comes with some very good reference materials which reveal plain truths about writing styles in a very accessible way. The Cornerstone people are very easy to talk to and not even remotely scam-like.

Finally, I have joined youwriteon.com today, on the advice of Bob, this blogs new best-friend.
This is an online community where through reviewing an assigned MS you earn the right to have a random individual review your MS. I've reviewed two online novels and it is not easy but the website provides some good guidelines and now I await the reviews of my online peers of my own humble offerings...I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

How have you got help? What worked? What really sucked? Let me know or the bunny gets it.
In a later section I will be dealing with Self-Help books - know any good ones? Know any ones that really suck? Let me know or the badger gets it.

Rejection

Many years ago I wrote my first novel – “Bread and Whiskey” which made it as far as the editors table at Wolfhound Publishing. Through a friend of a friend I had submitted the first few chapters and they rang me to say that they wanted to see more. That was how I imagined it would work. I would submit my first few chapters, they would want to see more and then they would publish. Despite all of the hard luck stories out there I believed that my work was so contagiously hilarious that the first publisher to read it would snap me up. Needless to say, they rejected it and I stopped writing for five years. Essentially I went into a writer’s huff. I swore under my breath and refused to make eye contact with my keyboard.

Nice one. There’s five years I’ll never get back.

Today I got an email rejection from the Laura Cecil Agency. It was rather polite, I must say…even self-deprecating. They are a small agency and don’t feel that they have the capacity to take on my ambitious projects. The email rejected me but gave me a little cuddle at the same time.



I'm going to have a wall full of rejections in the near future and they will be like duelling scars and I'll be proud of each and every one.